Nothingness.

honestly, i think this entry is here because i'm blogging for the sake of blogging.
i feel there's something that i need to get off my chest.but again, i can't pinpoint the issue.
maybe it's a bundle of issues.

had only two lectures today. but yet left school at 6+pm.
felt rather stupid for taking some remarks/comments/issues seriously. which resulted in a futile wait. maybe sometimes i really am too gullible. and maybe sometimes i deceive myself thinking that i am just giving others the benefit of the doubt.
yeah right, dawn.

schoolwork is really stifling that i think if i don't get out soon, i'll crack.
but then again, if i were to think about it, maybe it's good too. gets me so distracted/worried/stressed that i don't think about any other stuff except those pertaining to school. yet i realised, sometimes there are some things which just haunt. nevermind running away and hiding. i'm still found. -.-

i've only just found out about a* and b* and their uhm, lives. i guess they both seem mighty fine. -shrugs-
can't but help feel a teenywee pinch, somewhere in the deep recesses of me. guess these are the "what ifs" i will never get to find out. oh well, so long as they're happy. (i know, sounds so altruistic. hah.)

lately too, i haven't been in contact with ____. so i started the conversation ball rolling first. i ended up feeling a tinge of bitterness, or maybe even jealousy i didn't know would exist -- in a convo that lasted less than half an hour. i honestly don't want to feel the way i felt/am feeling. i'm not being altruistic or what. i just don't like these kind of feelings. especially when i know that there's no point in the way i'm feeling now.

in another bout of randomness, i wonder what it's like to be wasted.
i know obviously, that the hangover would be horrendous to endure. but still, we'd all want to know what "once bitten, twice shy" feels like no? well, at least for me, i do.

on hindsight, with regards to other aspects, i've been bitten one too many times.
and i still haven't really learnt my lesson.