Tiny blow.

why do i bother?

bothering makes me vulnerable.
and i hate this vulnerability.
i cant seem to protect myself from it.

yet i find myself trying to extract snippets of hope from you.
anw, what was just in that text msg just gave me a jab of disappointment.
tinytinytinyone.

still, amusing that however tinytinytiny it is, i'm still affected.
the non-vulnerable me would have gone, raah. too bad, doesnt matter anw.
i'll still say that.
its just that now, i dont mean what i say. it matters. this feeling sucks. ):

"Love like you've never loved before.
Love like you've never been hurt before.
If you're afraid to get hurt, don't fall in love."
(inspired by My Lovely Samsoon)

saw it somwhere i cant remember.
but in any case, it seems pretty true.

i'm not in love.
dont get me wrong.
i'm not sure what it is.

what i do know is this -
being disappointed by you is something i dont exactly like.
it kinda upsets me abit more than usual.

i wish what you did/said could have been erased.
maybe i also wish, i could be less sensitive, less assuming, past caring.